Thursday, January 24, 2013

So Jabba the Hutt was an Austrian Turk?

Now I've seen everything.  Apparently, the "Turkish community" in Austria is incensed by Lego's latest offering, a model of the palace of Star Wars villain, Jabba the Hutt.  Jabba, you may recall, was the morbidly obese creature with the John Waters mustache who had a thing for Princess Leia in a belly dancer costume.  (I know you know what I'm talking about.)

The Austrian Turks feel that the Lego palace, seen above, is an INSULT TO ISLAM (These words must be written in full caps, in order to convey the magnitude of the offense.) because - wait for it - it looks so much like the Hagia Sophia Mosque.


This dastardly act of intentional similarity (Oh the humanity!) is clearly an act of "racial prejudice and vulgar insinuations," in response to which the maligned Austrian Turkish Community is considering a lawsuit against Lego for "inciting racial hatred and insulting human dignity."

Well! Thank goodness someone has finally found the nerve to say it.  I'm sure we were all thinking it, right?

Now, some will point out that Jabba the Hutt isn't human, as if that has anything to do with it.  Well that doesn't mean his character doesn't display the most repellent of human characteristics, does it?  And if Austrian Turks feel that those characteristics somehow apply to them, they have a right to get excited, don't they?

And so what if the Hagia Sophia is an example of Byzantine, not Islamic Architecture, having been a church before it was conquered by the world's most peaceful religion?  Austrian Byzantinians have no right to be offended because this is so obviously a slight against the Austrian Turks, since their cousins, the Turkish Turks are the present owners.  The Hutt Palace has a roundish top with arches and pointy bits.  It is adorned with doors and windows and has a roof and, presumably a floor - all of which are painfully obvious reverences to the Hagia Sophia.  Without a doubt, it is the duty of all wise and sensible people to be offended.

And really, what difference does it make to the charge of "racism" if Islam is not a race, and if the Austrian Turkish community lumps" "Asians" and "Orientals" together as if they were the same peoples?  It is clear that the non-Austrian-Turk, non-Asian, non-Oriental makers of Lego are using Jabba and his crib as a stalking horse for their cruel racist games.

Just as the makers of Coke "as well as all other soft drinks" conspire to ruin good Muslims by tricking them into drinking "very small quantities of alcohol," and just as the Coca Cola logo is clearly an INSULT TO ISLAM, and just as "Pepsi" has been discovered by the shrewd and discerning Hazem Abu Ismail to stand for "Pay Every Penny Saving Israel," this inhuman plot has been uncovered and will not succeed.

In other words, get to Toys R Us and buy yourself a couple of these things, because they're going to be collectors' items.

6 comments:

Ran said...

...except that islam's proudest structure, the Hagia Sofia was, er, designed by and built by the Romans. Oh, well.

Steven Givler said...

Weren't the Romans Muslims too?

Anonymous said...

I showed Sheyma and she went crazy from the insulting Legos. I promised to join her in Jihad against the clearly offensive product.

Or not.

Maggie@MaggiesNotebook said...

Love your new look Steven. Very pithy writing, and if Ran says the Hagia Sofia was built by Romans, I believe it. Linked at my place.

Ran said...

Nope. They were rather Byzantine, as you rightly point out.

But surely our monolatric neighbors have invented something, no?

Nan said...

They have. The equal opportunity race card. Pull it out when you need to trump up some offense. I believe Jesse Jackson gets royalties from it.

BTW, I'd like my Cathedral back; I'm a Greek Catholic so it's mine.