Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Ambitious Rap Partnership Dissolves Amid Personality Conflict

Go-Vez and B-Sane in happier times

The much-anticipated collaboration between rap mastermind Hugo (Go-Vez) Chavez, and Barak (B-Sane) Obama has come to naught. Despite late-night attempts at rapprochement by the entourages of both parties, the vaunted mind-meld rap extravaganza is still-born. 

Citing irreconcilable artistic differences, spokespersons for both artists reluctantly issued statements this morning attesting to the dissolution.   News of the project has had industry insiders and fans of left-wing gangsta-che-rap on pins and needles since December of 2009, when it was discovered that the artists had met at the Copenhagen International Climate Talks.  Go-Vez, Mo-Jad (Mohmud Ahmadinejad) and Robert (Kronic) Mugabe, who together comprise the mega-group Kronic Mo-Go, had chosen the Talks as the scene for the announcement of their newest disk release, and witnesses to the event said that B-Sane was transfixed by their performance.  Ever since that time, teams have been working feverishly to forge an agreement between all four artists, but Kronic and Mo-Jad remained aloof, preferring to work on independent projects. 

Go-Vez during his "Stanky Thang" tour


Our sources tell us that negotiations briefly included rap sensation Kim Jong (Chill'in) Il, but his demanding film career (See article below.) has required him to put his musical aspirations on hold for now.

"Chillin' Il" - No rap for you!

No to be deterred, B-Sane's people began laying the groundwork for a duet disk with Go-Vez.  "This was our intention all along, really," said spokesman Jay Carney, "We felt from the beginning that the real magic would be found in the interplay between North and South America - the feedback between Latin and Chicago rhythms.  Fo' shizzle."

Fans agreed.  Would-be concert-goers braved weeks of freezing weather to occupy the park outside the office of Rod "The Coiff" Blagojevich, when rumors circulated that he would be presiding over early ticket sales.  It wasn't until after more than a dozen cases of frost-bite, and nearly twice as many cases of herpes were reported in the makeshift settlement that disappointed fans eventually decamped.

The Coiff - Hair yes, scalp no.

Not even the lack of ticket sales, though, dampened the hopes of those who awaited the results of Go-Vez, B-Sane fusion.  Internet forums buzzed with discussions of possible themes for the new album, and although thousands of ideas were exchanged, the constant undercurrent remained that heart and soul of both artists' work - the redistribution of wealth.   

B-Sane in his early days, as backup singer for the Bill Ayers Band

Despite the philosophy common to their work though, it seems that neither artist's ego can take a back seat long enough to produce an album together.  Apparently B-Sane, stung by the discovery that Go-Vez and Mo-jad were continuing to pursue ventures jointly without including him, vented some frustration, saying, “It seems to me that the ties between Venezuela’s government and Iran and Cuba have not served the interests of Venezuela and its people.”  Predictably, this did not sit well with Go-Vez who, for all his musical brilliance, has never been known to accept a dressing down from anybody.  Today, as their people were making their sad announcement, Go-Vez, with all the bluster that has made him such a presence on stage (and such a handful offstage, says his business manager) told B-Sane "You are a clown, a clown. Leave us in peace." 

B-Sane, on his way to an urgent meeting in Hawaii, tweeted of his disappointment in the state of affairs.  "Is that all he's got?" he wrote, "It doesn't even rhyme."  




1 comment:

Ran said...

"Chill'in." LOL! Just perfect... 19°C and counting.

Funny, though, about the "one world" thing. Now that the US has it's own Star Wars bar scene doing the international green socialist gig, the Brits and just about everyone else are having second thoughts. Seems the Chicago upstarts think that they are the propeller-heads who will "get it right this time." The EUnuchs, Go-Vez and the rest disagree.

For example, the climate emails heist: It appears to have been a hack from UK's Left to take-down Mann's dominance and to discredit the US side. They probably hadn't considered that it would sabotage the entire joke.