Hard on the heels of his overwhelming film success "The Greatest Love Story Ever Told - Ever" Kim Jong Il, who includes among his credits such titles as "Beloved leader," "Great man who descended from Heaven," and my personal favorite, "Highest Incarnation of the Revolutionary Comradely Love," has chosen for himself a role that is destined to transcend all others, even that of Jim Stark, (Rebel Without a Causing, 1955)
As Jim Stark, 1955
This latest role, explained his press agent B. bimbop, will redefine forever and in every way, how an actor uses nothing but presence to conduct universes of meaning to his audience. Under the working title "Room Temperature," the beloved actor has undertaken a rigorous program of his own devising, which will stretch his abilities to convey meaning, emotion, and presence beyond all known human limits.
Surrounded by herbal extracts and dried flowers, and encased in a lucite hyperbaric chamber wherein the oxygen ratio is triple that found in ambient air, Beloved Actor lies absolutely rigid, eschewing motion, facial expression, and other outmoded means of conveying meaning, and seeks instead to find a deeper connection with his audience, an emotional, spiritual bond that will render all other means of acting forever obsolete. Even at this early stage in his experiments, Emoter of Devine Essence has managed to establish a link with his beloved audience whereby he channels the great depths of his soulful being.
There is no question as to the success of this bold venture; the only issue is whether average mortals can stand being exposed to such profound feeling for any extended period of time.